haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
NoShamevember. You game?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
