all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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