she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
