belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
