Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Randomize
