Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
