i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
