You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
then he tried to convert me to islam
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
