The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
bring money and cleavage
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
