Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
40s are totally the cure
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
