Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
