dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
