Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
