He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
