I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
