She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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