hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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