If i come over, it means nothing
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I want her autograph on my taint
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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