Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Randomize
