This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
