I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
