why didn't you poke me back
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
