So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
