Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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