you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
