I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Randomize
