He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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