What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
