Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Randomize
