Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
