it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
