Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
there's paper in my vomit.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
