Can Purell be used as lube?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
