Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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