It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I just found puke in my bra..
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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