I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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