Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize