He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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