He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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