I like to think it a success when the cops are called
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
did you just send me my own nude
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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