the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
