Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
