I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
