He uses pillows to masturbate.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Randomize
