Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
