I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
