I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
