that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
