i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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