Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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