did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize