You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
