She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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