you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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