Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize