I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
