OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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